One of the most impacting decisions I have ever made was to become actively involved with my mother when she was declining in her health. Thanks to Sacred Stories’ Whitney Myers, I was able to document this story and others for our children, grandchildren, and future generations.
When it became evident that my mother was nearing her death, she was enrolled in hospice care and stayed in our home. For some people, this can be scary and something to be avoided. For me a hands-on involvement with her dying and our burial rituals was a new approach. It was helpful for me then and has become an even greater blessing for everyone in our family as time has passed.
Our children and grandchildren experienced death firsthand. This was a positive involvement with their providing hands-on death care. Wanted or not, everyone will die, so we decided to enable as many friends and family as possible to give and cherish final gifts.
Utilizing the funeral industry is not only expensive but it can depersonalize the surrounding events. With the help of a death care doula, our actions during these final days became more precious than silver or gold. The experiences of loving and doing things became some of my most impactful memories and cherished life experiences.
We decided to hand-make the best plywood box we could as a family to hold my mother‘s body after she died. We called it a Hope Chest. I showed it to her, and she liked it. We invited our grandchildren to create styrofoam board messages for memories of their “Nana.” They drew or pasted pictures on these boards which we then screwed onto and thus surrounded her “hope chest.”
My mom loved to play Scrabble. We invited her very close friend to make something to be put on the top of her hope chest. A finish carpenter by trade, he made a wooden Scrabble board and glued on it a ceramic teacup, a plastic rose, and her name with individual Scrabble-looking letters, plus HOPE, JOY, LOVE, and FAITH letters that intersected Scrabble style on the board. He also glued GRA_E. Viewers could then guess: C, V, P, D for the blank spot. My mother, a Christian school teacher, would have been pleased.
Taking care of my mom at home, building a casket, washing and anointing her body with our pastor, and then driving her body from Texas to Minnesota in our truck with my daughter was a treat. Then gathering with her pastor and friends and watching her nieces and nephews carry her chest to the grave site helped us to accept and celebrate her life. It filled us with buoyant memories and the “hope to come.” We shared these memories in our Legacy Film project. This video is like another “hope chest” or container for some of our precious stories.
Thanks, Whitney and team, for helping us to document these and other memories.